Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
