i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
