If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
jump out the window naked night went bad
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