I'm eating all of the evidence.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
