He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize