so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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