I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
