pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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