why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
