I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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