we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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