Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
