First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Green mimosas i think yes
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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