Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
