Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Randomize
