Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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