If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
