Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Randomize
