is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
