She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
