it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
