we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
