im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
