I am puke
I have demons in me.
you win again, gameday.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
