i just google imaged poop.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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