I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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