what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
