Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
third nipple confirmed
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
