i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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