Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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