glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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