Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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