this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
