any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
