i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
