i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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