I want to stick my p in your. b.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
