Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
