There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
