I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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