He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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