I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
