she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
