Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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