I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
