Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
the night ended with taco bell and tears
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
