What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
