These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
