Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
