we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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